He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things.
-George Savile
If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day. But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life.
All statements are true in some sense , false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
Revolution: The act of going around in a circle, eventually winding up back where you started.
If you have never contemplated killing all of your friends with an axe, then you are not taking enough drugs. If you actually did the deed, then someone is coming for you ...
Warning: Certain concepts have been infected and deemed unsafe. Please do not think about the following words: golden apple, fnord, 23 skidoo.
you are as wrong as you are right as you are left as you are as you are turned upside down, aren't you?
vagina dentata
(...at #5582, apparently this is the first meme to mention vagina? or are these meme edited and purged?)
the last will be first and the first shall be last. Those of us in the middle won't notice the difference
WORK IN PROGRESS: we're trying to hide another U.F.O. right here, so don't care about us - we're working for you.
Make a man a fire and he'll be warm through the night.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why does dad leave whenever Santa comes by?
Because he fucks your sister behind your back while you are washing your hands after wanking under the Chrismas tree on the golden age.
your parents didn't give you life, but they did bring you to the world. forgive them though; they probably didn't mean it
5238 Live Kwotes, 741 Deleted Kwotes
Based on the GPL Kwotes Project