The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Reality is that which doesn't go away when you open your eyes; the real world is that which doesn't go away when you close your eyes.
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools--the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't.
-Benchley's Law of Distinction
be aware that the illuminati have infiltrated this archive and outnumbered our sage nonsense with moralistic catch phrases.
the world is a stage and you're an actor upon it, so you may as well give the audience a laugh
The universe, including the parts occupied by matter, is made almost entirely of empty space. Since nature abhors a vacuum, it would seem evident that the universe is comprised mostly of self loathing.
"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation.
You are MORTAL. You will die. SOON. Start living how you want to be remembered? Do it for us.
truth doesn't exist, and neither does anything else- how do you know you can trust your senses?
you don't know about the future yet.........i don't think your'e gonna like the one your gonna get.
Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor.
Only idiots don't point out the common sense because it is common sense to point out the obvious when
it is obvious that most people are idiots.
The wages of sin are death! (of course, After taxes, it's really more of a tired feeling....)
5223 Live Kwotes, 741 Deleted Kwotes
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