There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't.
-Benchley's Law of Distinction
when you shit in your garden, is it considered caring about your plants, or hating your plants, or just being too poor to afford a goddamn toilet.
Get a goddamn job, hippie.
It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
-Mark Twain
Lawyers are basically Piñatas filled with civil liberties instead of candy. The party has started, don't worry about a blindfold.
its a nameless dirt road that leads to the mother- lode, it's not even a path it's just the thinnest part of the grass
truth doesn't exist, and neither does anything else- how do you know you can trust your senses?
Liberty was that thing you lost when you "forgot" to vote because you took the wrong turn off the interstate and couldn't be arsed to turn around and go back, thirty seconds out of your way.
Soooo technically, the apocal happens on the 19th of february 2015. or the 21st. it depends on a bunch of girls.
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Never attribute to intelligence that which can be adequately explained by sheer dumb luck.
If you bang your head against a brick wall long enough, do the colors of the pot and the kettle change so that they look different?
Bacon transforms men into incredibly sensitive and generous lovers and guarantees women the longest and most intense orgasms imaginable.
Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me--I have found you can find happiness in slavery...
With correct logic, you can prove anything that's true.
With incorrect logic, you can prove twice as much.
There is no such thing as truth...Only opinion. Nor that which actually happened...Only perspective
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